


My Neighbor is a Creepy Stalker Fan

by bertererei



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Background stalking, Crack, Crossdressing, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Female Eren Yeager, Foul Language, Just suspend your disbelief and laugh, Male Pop Idol Eren Yeager, OOC, Pretend spoilers, Writer Jean Kirstein, don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23401471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertererei/pseuds/bertererei
Summary: Male, female, it really doesn’t matter. To Jean, Eren is Eren. Whether Eren is a suicidal blockhead, Humanity’s Last Hope, enemy of the world, or even a girl who is known as the most popular male idol, Jean will probably always…
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	My Neighbor is a Creepy Stalker Fan

**Author's Note:**

> “I’m going to write a fem!Eren story, guys!” I promised everyone on the discord. “Just you wait!” It’s been…? A few months? A new year has started. I left the discord. The world is dying… haha… But! We are finally here! For Eren’s birthday! ^^ Sorry for taking so long!
> 
> This story was written when chapter 125 was fresh and new (This is the chapter where Floch reveals that he was the mastermind all along and the remaining 104th should join him because he’s their fa… Oh wait. That’s Star Wars). So expect spoilers up to that point. Anything past that is me grasping at straws. So yup, I am aware that I’m implying things that are not canon-compliant. You don’t have to tell me.
> 
> Yup, this is a Writer!Jean AU where Jean wrote a version of SNK. You know what kind of AU I’m talking about. You’ve read enough reincarnation fanfics/djs to know. And yes, in this verse, SNK is a novel series. There are talks about it getting a movie or a TV drama, but nothing has been finalized thanks to… a bit of a scandal with the PR manager, shall we say?
> 
> I am way too used to writing Eren as a guy. It's possible that I missed a few pronouns. Please forgive me for those. Eren is a girl in this story. Any time the story says otherwise is my own mistake due to me being an immature writer.
> 
> Eren's birthday celebration bonus!
> 
> Warning: Reincarnation AU. Crack. Endgame Jean x Eren. Pretend spoilers. Writer!Jean. Fem!Eren. Male pop idol!Eren. Crossdressing. Background stalking. Domestic fluff. Foul language. OOC. Don’t take this seriously guys. You’ll enjoy it better.

"Peace and quiet at last," Jean mumbles to himself as he opens the box of dishes for the kitchen. 

Or at least it should have been the box of dishes. The label on the box clearly says that these are dishes. Yet what's inside are toiletries and towels. But the box itself is marked as fragile and as dishes. He even yelled at the movers when they were just a bit too rough with this box. 

Not only is he feeling guilty for yelling at them, but he’s now dreading exactly where his dishes are. Because if they’re not in the box labeled as dishes, then surely they’re somewhere in the many boxes of this new apartment that he just moved into. And if he recalls just how roughly the movers treated all of the boxes (He should have spent that extra bit of money to hire a better moving company and not get the cheapest one at Marlowe’s suggestion, that damned cheap bastard), he can’t imagine the dishes have survived. 

Jean drops his head in his hands and groans. 

*

You know what? It’s fine. So what if all of his dishes are broken? He can just eat take out or mooch off of Floch or something. That guy totally owes Jean for all the shit he’s done.

At the very least, that’s the positive attitude Jean decides to take as he takes out the box of dishes to be thrown away in the communal dumpster. It’s a bit of a walk from where his complex is, but having a dumpster nearby is much easier for him than remembering what day of the week it is to put his trash outside. Yeah, living in an apartment is going to be great. He just needs to keep telling himself that until he comes to believe it.

Moving to this place was most definitely not something that Jean decided for himself.

But that damned Floch, his PR manager who turns out to be the worst possible person to hire for the role, said one too many things during an interview. And let’s just say that living at his old place became… a bit uncomfortable, shall we say? The good news, though, is that this move and his new home’s address is being kept secret from Floch, so at least he won’t mess this up by blurting that out in an interview. And really, that’s all he should expect from someone like Floch.

Then why did he bother hiring someone like Floch, you ask? That’s…

It’s a long and complicated backstory that Jean really doesn’t want to relive right now. So just shut up and go with it.

He tosses the box of broken dishes into the dumpster and heads back to his new apartment.

*

This is the sixth box that has been mislabeled. Jean is pretty sure that his past self hates him. That’s the only reason he can think that this would possibly happen, because Floch wasn’t here to mess this up. Damn it, just how tired has he been after meeting his deadline that he made this many dumb mistakes?

It’s even more frustrating because his box of idol mer… B-by that, he means his box of very personal items has yet to make an appearance in all the times he spent opening boxes and organizing his things. Y-yeah. That’s what he means. His porn magazines, you know? He’s totally not an idol trash. 

What? You think he’s like twelve or something? Pfft. He thankfully never went through the idol phase thanks to being in therapy for the longest time, and that’s really not a can of worms he wants to open right now.

A knock on the door interrupts him from diligently taking out his reference books on human anatomy. Did you know that an adult human has 206 bones in their body? There are machines now that let you see those bone parts without cutting up people. Jeesh, medical advancement is so cool.

Jean figures it’s his landlord or something. Probably here to make sure that Jean’s moving in has gone smoothly or whatever. After all, since realizing that the Jean Kirstein, the author of the “amazing” _Attack on Titan_ novel series, is now a tenant at these apartments, the landlord has been trying to suck up to him. No matter where he goes, people are always the same.

“Yeah, what is it?” he asks as he opens the door.

And he freezes.

“H-hello, sorry. Were you waiting for someone?” The really pretty girl asks with a slight wince. “I uh… I’m your neighbor. I accidentally locked myself out. And I er… was wondering if you could let me stay in here until one of my roommates can get off shift to let me back in?”

The really pretty girl is, for lack of better words, really pretty. Her short brown hair is just long enough to cover her ears. Although it looks neat in the front, Jean spots that there are small bits of her hair standing in the back as if she’s been sleeping before all of this. She probably wasn’t planning on going out at all today. In fact, Jean would make the argument that she had absolutely no plans on going out today (or if she had been planning to go out, he wants to tear through his boxes until he finds a jacket to help cover her because damn girl, it’s way too cold to be dressed like that). She has on a really tight green sleeveless cami that makes it very clear what kind of lacey bra she’s wearing underneath and really, really short-shorts. The type that looks more like underwear than a real short. And yup, she has no shoes on.

Wow, that’s a lot of skin. And it’s not like Jean has never seen that much skin (he did go to public school, after all… before he dropped out. But that’s not important right now), but that much skin on a real girl? Not counting porn, of course. 

It’s… it’s really…

“You’re hot.”

The girl wrinkles her nose in disgust. Even though that look of disgust is directed at Jean, he’s absolutely taken by how cute it looks. And wow. What green eyes. It's so vibrant and bright almost like… 

“You know what? I’ll just go to a cafe or something,” she says.

It’s not until then that it finally sinks in. Because hey, he knows those green eyes. He knows that messy hair. He knows her.

It’s Eren.

*

Alright, fine. Let’s take some time to talk about this. 

Jean Kirstein remembers things from a life that he never lived through. A past life of sorts, except it can’t be, because the life he’s living right now is way too different from that one to be the same. But in the same breath, it has to be. It has to be real. It has to be something that he did live through.

Because if it isn’t, then why does he wake up in cold sweat at times, gasping and reaching for that person that he should have reached earlier. Trying to get to that person before the walls shook and the very thing he thought they were trying to prevent unfolded before his eyes.

It’s what his novel series is based on. 

_Attack on Titan._

Eren Jaeger. The Attack Titan. Humanity’s Last Hope. 

Marley’s… No, the world’s most hated enemy.

His therapist recommended that he write it all down back when he was in middle school. So he did. It was painstakingly slow and even more heart-wrenching than he ever remembers these events be when he lived through it. But he put those memories into words and wrote them down on paper. 

In the middle of high school, he dropped out to write full time. Okay, fine. He became a shut-in because he couldn’t stand the emotional level of a chipmunk these children around him had. He locked himself in his room, doing nothing but writing day in and day out because what else was there to do? Browse through forums? Eat? Play games? Read? Learn to play an instrument?

It all gets so damned boring after a while. 

Just a little, he wonders if it was because he was craving the friendship he used to have. The laughter and the jokes he shared with those he fought to the death with. The companionship that came with being in the same military division. Because he can’t find them. No matter how hard he looked, he can’t see a single hair nor hide of any of his former comrades.

So he gave writing a try again. Because at least this way, he is assuring himself that they did exist. They were real. He can't find them right now, but once upon a time, Jean had people by his side that he was willing to go to hell for.

He gave voice to the fears of facing against the titans. He gave power to the grief, the betrayal, when he realized that Reiner and Bertolt had always been lying to them (at least Annie never bothered to get close to any of them except maybe Eren). He gave words to the insurmountable joy he felt when he first saw the ocean. He wrote everything down that he could remember, every detail, every feeling in hopes that one day, once he empties himself of everything from his previous life, he will finally be able to move on. He will be able to be the upstanding citizen his mom dreamt for him when he was little and before she realized that he was plagued by the memories of a life that sounds too horrifying to even be fictitious. 

He can’t tell you how his work ever got into the hands of a publishing agency. 

The best guess he has is that his mom was in his room while he was sleeping to clean (or maybe she was there to check to make sure he hasn’t died?) and found one of the manuscripts and sent it off. She never admitted to having done that. And he really doesn’t have the energy to accuse her. He can’t help but to wonder how he was able to have that much care to yell at his well-meaning mom in his previous life.

But it somehow landed in the hands of a certain publishing agency that uses a certain green unicorn as their emblem. And yeah, once upon a time, he really wanted to be part of the Military Police. But this wasn’t exactly how he pictured it.

The editing process was long and grueling. Most of the time, he couldn’t just say, “This is what happened. I’m just being fateful to what I remember.” So he had to be creative in why he chose to make “that literary decision” because according to his editors (and yeah, he went through multiple editors, so what?) these choices will not sell (Yup, he did say that a few times. Nope, no one believed him and just thought he was being stupidly stubborn). Because yeah, of course, it wouldn’t. What kind of real life bullshit would ever sell well? And in case you were wondering, yeah. The publishing agency was the first place that he left his house for since he dropped out.

Despite the fact that he had close to five of these “novels” written (the publishing agency was the one who helped him divide the story into chunks and help him frame it so that “a single plot point” gets solved in each or whatever), publishing the first one took close to three years just because of all of their disputes. By then, Jean had gone through at least twenty different editors and have made enough of the staff cry. It’s quite fair to say that they should have given up on him. But for reasons he’ll learn later (It was Nile. The owner of the publishing agency was fucking Nile Dok. Of course, it was), the agency backed him to get his first novel published.

It didn’t make any wave, by the way. 

No one read it. No one noticed it. 

And life went on.

Until one day, when Jean came into the agency to talk about the second novel, the editor who sat in front of him was Marlowe Freudenberg. 

Marlowe was so painfully like his previous life’s self that it made Jean do a double-take. Because huh? What do you mean you don’t remember when you still talk like that? But it was probably for the best that Marlowe didn’t remember. Because if he did, surely he would have stopped Jean to do something as stupid as publish the events of what happened.

Instead, Marlowe encouraged Jean. 

“The vision of the writer is more important than what sells. I think your sincerity is more than enough to convince people to give your story a try.” 

With such noble words, Marlowe helped shape the story into something more comprehensive and readable.

His second novel was out much faster than the first by a year.

He thinks a good portion of that had to do with the fact that it was Marlowe. You don’t understand. That guy never had to die. He could have lived his entire life with his stick up his ass, going on and on about noble sense of duty or what have you if it hadn’t been for Jean’s choice to bring him to the Survey Corp’s side. And fuck, this stupid idiot is still that good-hearted naive child that he was back then, because he became an editor after reading Jean’s first novel.

No surprise, Hitch Dreyse joined them a few months later as part of the marketing team. And before Jean knew it, his series was super popular or whatever.

He was no longer known as the drop-out shut-in that’s nothing but a burden on his poor mom. Instead, he became a “Writer.” Because don’t you know? Now that his series is popular, everyone is his bestest friend or closest neighbor who gave him the best birthday gift or whatever tiring nonsense. 

Jean stopped going outside. And you see, Marlowe is such a good kid that he’ll drive out to Jean’s place instead of forcing Jean to come outside. And because Marlowe insisted, Hitch followed that lead. 

But, of course, you can’t have the author of a popular series be shut-in. What would the journalists write shit about? He doesn’t do anything but stay at home. They can’t even tell if he’s alive half the time. So the agency did the foolish thing of hiring one Floch Forster to be Jean’s PR manager.

At first, it was nostalgia.

Floch is the first of the Southern Division of the 104th Training Corps to return to Jean’s life. So by that logic, then the others will come, too, right? He just has to wait? And they’ll return. Connie, Sasha, Mikasa, Armin, Marco…

_Eren._

His feelings of nostalgia was quickly replaced by irritation of Floch’s fuck up after fuck ups. If it’s not something like accidentally telling people the wrong date of the next release, it’s something like accidentally giving away a big “plot point” (Hitch was fuming about that for months). If it’s not something like jokingly talking about Jean as a shut-in, it’s the mistake he made two weeks ago that forced Jean to move out of his mom’s house.

Floch told everyone that Jean was very much gay and very much in love with the pop idol Eren Jaeger (By the way, Jean went out of his way to make sure to change everyone’s names in his story so that they didn’t match what it was in their previous life. That seemed… too personal of a detail to share. After all, if his name now is still “Jean Kirstein,” then the others must still carry their previous names, right?).

Yup, that’s right.

The very much male pop idol, Eren Jaeger.

It was something that happened about three or so months ago before Floch outed Jean. Jean accidentally saw a glimpse of Floch’s phone background. Because hey, that brightly grinning and sparkling person who is doing a pretty cringey pose… Doesn’t he look a lot like…?

“Jeesh, your shut-in self is showing again, Kirstein. Don’t you know _the_ Eren Jaeger? He’s only the coolest idol of this century!”

Yup, that’s right. 

The only reason why Jean never fired Floch despite all of his fuck ups is because of this very simple fact that he was the one who led Jean back to Eren. And isn’t that funny? Isn’t that fucked up? Of course, it’s fucking Floch. Hey Eren, of everyone, why the hell did you choose that guy? Why couldn’t it have been Jean? Why is it always fucking Floch?

But who else can Jean ask but Floch to stand in the pouring rain or storm or what have you in line for six plus hours to get the limited edition posters of Eren that comes with a purchase of his newest album? Or the insanely cute charm that matches Eren’s eyes that only comes if you special order the deluxe box set of Eren’s CDs, never mind that Jean already has three copies of each? Or cheer together in front of the TV because Jean is not braving a crowd of middle school girls (okay, fine. There are older girls, too) to go to a live concert. Sorry, Eren. He doesn’t love you that much to risk ending up in a jail cell because he got into a fight with a middle school girl (it’s not his own story but Floch’s, so that’s really all he can tell you).

It’s not that Jean likes idols or anything. In fact, the lyrics to the songs that Eren sings get pretty cringey at times (But man, Eren’s voice makes it so worth it to listen to. And if Jean enjoys some of the embarrassing as hell sweet lines that's whispered into his ear through his headphones… well, can you blame him? He s a shut-in with zero social interaction). And Eren’s concerts are filled with more screaming of fans than of Eren singing. So it’s not even like he enjoys that either. 

He just likes Eren. Alright?

Back in his previous life, Jean was a shitty friend who decided that since Armin knew Eren best, he should just leave it to Armin. Yeah, Jean saw how desperate Eren looked to do something other than sit around on their asses, waiting for the go-ahead by Hizuru. Yeah, he saw how depressed Eren became after inheriting his dad’s memories. Yeah, he knew how much of a bleeding heart ideologist Eren was from the get-go, so of course, this was what Eren would choose to do. Eren already told all of them, didn’t he? That he wanted his most treasured friends to live long and happy lives.

He knew there was just one ending if they kept pushing Eren into his corner.

He knew this is just how Eren would lash out, because unlike most people, Eren Jaeger embodied freedom. If you clip his wings, he’ll make his own to fly even if it comes at much too high a cost.

So at the very least, he wanted to be a support for Eren here in this life, even if he was just a name in the crowd. A number in a paycheck. A faceless person in the sea of people.

That is the Eren Jaeger that Jean has come to accept.

That Jean had to accept.

That Jean… 

*

But evidence (and this gut-twisting feeling in his chest) screams that this girl in front of him is Eren Jaeger.

If Jean lets her go now, he will just be repeating what he did before.

He will forever be stuck in that hell, never able to move on (And maybe that’s why he seems to be the only one who remembers what happened back then while no one else seems to).

“Wait,” he says, grabbing her hand. “I’m sorry. I-I don’t… talk to people much. But if you need a place to stay, please use this place. I-if I make you uncomfortable, I can be in the room and out of your sight. Just… You shouldn’t wander out dressed like that.”

He doesn’t blame her for hesitating. How often has he heard, both in this life and in the previous one, that he has the face of a villain? But it’s not like he can change his face. How do people look sincere again? He can’t remember what it feels like to talk to people aside from those of the publishing agency and his mom. The number of people he can hold a conversation with can be counted on one hand, and he’s starting to really hate his past self for never making an effort to be a proper human in case he meets Eren again.

“You don’t have to lock yourself anywhere,” the pretty girl… Eren says.

Jean finds himself relaxing. Then he realizes that he’s still holding her hand. Feeling his cheeks burn, he quickly lets her go and steps out of the way so she can come inside.

“S-sorry. I just moved in, so everything’s a mess. A-are you cold? I can turn up the heat. Or look for a jacket or something. Just let me know.”

That scoffing grin is so much like the Eren that Jean remembers that he feels his heart beat so painfully loud in his chest. 

It’s Eren. 

Not the cringey pose-making guy on the screen. Not the sweetly smiling guy on the posters. Not the singer on the CDs that Jean sometimes puts on repeat because he just misses hearing the sound of Eren’s voice. Not the guy who says sweet nothings that the Eren that Jean knows will die before ever saying them.

But Eren.

Honest to god Eren Jaeger.

“It’s fine. I don’t get cold easily. Ah… u-unless I’m making you uncomfortable with how I’m dressed? If that’s the case, then I…”

Jean glances back at her, curious as to why she suddenly trailed off. She seems to be staring at something with slight alarm in her eyes. Huh? He didn’t leave out any porn magazines. He knows because he hasn’t found any in any of the boxes that he has opened thus far. So what the hell…

Oh. That’s right.

The very first thing that Jean put up once the movers left was the huge ass poster he won in a lottery (Technically, Floch won, but Jean ended up taking it since he’s the one signing Floch’s paycheck… ish. That’s the publishing agency, and you know what, let’s just not worry about this). The poster is, of course, of the male pop idol Eren Jaeger. It spans about a meter tall and two meters wide. Yeah. It’s huge. And it may or may not be among top five of Jean’s favorite merchandise he has gotten his hands on.

“I-it’s not what you think!” Jean blurts out without really thinking it through.

“H-hey, I’m not judging. You can like whoever you want,” Eren says quickly. 

She’s not meeting Jean’s eyes. And damn it, how the hell is he supposed to explain that it’s because he’s always loved Eren since his previous life and… 

Wait.

The Eren in front of him, the Eren that he’s sure that it’s Eren, his Eren, is definitely a girl. But the Eren on the poster is a male pop idol. Then… Huh?

There are two Erens? 

He touches his hand to his nose to reassure himself that he didn’t get a physical nosebleed at the thought. 

No, no. His luck can’t be that good. More likely, this is…

“I just… didn’t think you would walk into my apartment, alright? If I knew you were going to be my neighbor, I wouldn’t have… No, I’m pretty desperate. I still would have bought those posters and merchandise and… Wow, I’m coming off as a creep, aren’t I? What I mean to say, Eren, is that I’m a fan, yes. But I’m not one of those creepy stalker fans that wants to smell your underwear or whatever.”

He meant to say those things as something reassuring. So why is it that Eren looks rather panicked? 

“Did… er… I say something wrong?” Jean asks.

“How… did you know that I’m Eren Jaeger? Even my managers doesn’t realize that I’m a girl. I was really careful about hiding all traces… So how…?”

“Because I’ve always been in love with you,” is something that Jean finds way too cringey to ever say out loud. “We met in our previous life,” is much too like a seedy pick-up line. “I’m a psychic,” just sounds shady as hell.

So Jean buries his face in his hands and says instead, “Because I’m a creepy stalker fan that wants to smell your underwear.”

*

“Pfft… Hahaha! Who the hell just says things like that?” Eren asks, laughing so brightly and openly that Jean can’t help but to stare. 

Because wow. He hasn’t seen Eren smile or laugh like that since… Since before the Colossal Titan (Bertolt. It was Bertolt. All these times, that guy sat with them, listening to them talk about killing titans when he’s the one who started all of this. But that’s not fair either. They were all just dumb kids who didn’t know what else to do. Or at least that's the best excuse Reiner came up with) appeared for the second time at Trost. 

“Come on. I’m not so stupid as to not realize how my stalkers behave around me. You’re not a stalker. So that brings up the question of who are you?”

Still giggling, Eren confidently steps into Jean’s living room. She peers into the open boxes curiously. Then she notes the human anatomy books that Jean has been unpacking before she got here.

“… A doctor?”

“N-no,” Jean says. “I-I’m…”

The words “I’m a shut-in” almost leaves his mouth. But it seems there’s still some semblance of sense left in him, because he doesn’t just say that. 

“I’m a writer.”

She lets out a low whistle. “What have you written?”

He doesn’t want to say it. Even if it seems that Eren before him doesn’t remember their previous life, he doesn’t want to say that he’s been making money off of their trauma. That he’s been selling everyone out. That his call to fame has been Eren.

It’s always been Eren.

“You probably never heard of it.”

“Try me.” Her grin looks a little more like the little snarl Eren used to reserve just for Jean during their Trainee days. “Despite me being a male pop idol, I am literate, as shocking as that must sound to you.”

No, no. That’s not why Jean was trying to hide it. That’s not…

“Have you heard of _Attack on Titan?”_

There’s a small pause before Eren’s mouth drops open. “You’re Jean Kirstein?!”

*

The teasing “Could it be that _the_ great Eren Jaeger is a fan of my work?” dies in Jean’s throat by Eren’s next words.

“Reiner is a huge fan!”

… Reiner.

Are you… What the fuck? While Jean was suffering with fucking Floch, of all people, Eren got to chill out with Reiner? Wait. No. By the end of it all, those two’s relationship was pretty bad, wasn’t it? Well, that's probably not the best way to phrase that. Reiner wanted to die by Eren's hands and even tried to… What the hell is Jean doing comparing like this anyways? None of them remembers but him.

He’s the only one who cares about what happened back then.

“In fact, he’s a huge dork about it!” Eren continues. “He writes fanfic for your works and draws pictures, too! Isn’t that hilarious? If you have the time to waste, go out and make money, you stupid shut-in. Jeesh, how long is he planning on living off of my paychecks?”

Ow. Ow.

Although those words aren’t aimed at him specifically, Jean feels like it’s a personal attack anyways. 

“I mean, if he wants to draw and write for a living, I’m fine with that. Can’t he just… do something that’s original so he can at least attempt to pay his share of the bills for once? Or even open up a commission. I don’t know how that works, but you can make money off of fan works, can’t you?”

… A-and… they live together? 

Jean might have been a little more receptive towards that in their previous life (No. No, he wouldn’t have. He just barely tolerated Eren living with Mikasa and Armin in their previous life since they’re childhood friends, but fat good that did in the end. He should be just told Eren back then. He should have…). But what the hell? With Reiner? C’mon, Eren. Why can’t you at least have some taste? Not to mention you’re a girl now. You can’t just room together with a guy and expect things to work out. You just… you don’t invite a tiger into a rabbit’s den and expect the tiger to play nice. That freak of a boulder is going to eat you, Eren!

“You live with a bum?” is the less creepy version of what Jean might have said otherwise.

There’s a look on Eren’s face that seems to scream that this is a long story she really doesn’t want to get into. It makes Jean super curious, but he’s not an asshole (or at least, he’s trying really hard not to be to Eren this time around. She’s had enough of assholes in her previous life, alright?). He waits patiently for her to decide if he’s worth telling that long story to.

“Not… exactly a bum. Reiner’s… Reiner’s my dog.”

A dog that writes fanfic and draws fanart? Jeesh, Eren. You’re a shitty liar as ever. But fine. Whatever. Jean will play along.

“Instead of sending him out to get a job, sounds like you should just tape your dog making fanfics and fanart and post that for money,” Jean says.

Eren makes a face. “Okay, fine. You got me. Reiner isn’t a dog.”

No shit.

“But he’s like my dog. And before you ask, no, I don’t live alone with him. I room with bunch of friends. We’re all splitting the rent… Except for Reiner, who’s mooching off of me. But that’s fine. I’m an idol. I have more than enough money.”

“Do your roommates know that you’re an idol?”

“Nope! They think I’m a waitress. So they don’t ask where my money comes from.”

Hey, isn’t that even more sketchy?

“It’s so weird. They’ve known me all my life, but they haven’t even begun to guess that I’m an idol. But you got it in one. Is it because you’re a writer? Do you have crazy good observation skills?” 

“Only if it’s about you,” are the creepy words that Jean just barely manages to hold back. Instead, he says, “Nah, I doubt it. I’m not a detective or something.”

Eren giggles easily. It makes Jean wonder if Eren was never burdened with the truth of the world, would he have been able to giggle and laugh as easily as she does? If his friends hadn’t just ignored the silent cries for help because they had been so fascinated by the new world that they got to see and explore, would Eren have been able to enjoy it with them? Because out of all of them, Eren was the one who wanted to see the ocean the most, wasn’t he? Eren was the one who craved the freedom from the walls the most.

So why was it that he was the only one who didn’t get to enjoy it?

“Mr. Writer, do you want some help unpacking? As you know, I’ve got quite a lot of time before one of my roommates get back,” Eren says lightly.

“I’m going to warn you now that if you see any porn magazines, they’re reference materials and not at all for my viewing pleasures.”

Eren laughs. “If I find any, I’ll make sure to toss it in the trash for you. No worries!”

“Hey! Don’t do that! I… I need them for… for writing!”

“I’m sure!”

*

Eren whistles lowly, catching Jean’s attention away from the winter clothes that was in the box labeled, “Chocolates.”

“Someone’s quite the fan, isn’t he?”

Jean recognizes that teasing tone of voice. His head snaps up as Eren holds up the unopen deluxe box set of her CDs. Wasn’t Eren opening the box labeled, “Winter jackets?” Why the hell are Jean’s most prized collection in there?

“Jeesh, these aren’t even open! And… you already have three copies of some of these… Mr. Writer, do you have hoarding problems?”

No, he wanted to get everything Eren-related in this world, even if he ends up with multiple items. Is that such a bad thing to want?

“I told you I’m a stalker fan,” Jean reminds her.

Eren snorts. “Uh-huh. I’m sure. Such a stalker that you’ve never even come to any of the VIP backstage meet-and-greet?”

“I don’t like going outside,” Jean manages out evenly. “I’m a writer. Most of my time is spent indoors, in front of my computer.”

There’s a small pause as Eren puts the box set down.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to touch a sore spot. You’re… Hell, this is going to sound really strange, but you’re just really easy to talk to. I just… started teasing you like I do with my friends. But now that I think about it, we just barely know each other and… and I’m practically naked in your apartment. Er… w-what I mean to say is…”

Is… Eren trying to cheer him up? Eren Jaeger? The one who always riled Jean up for shits and giggles? The one that Jean always teased and mocked? The one who always matched Jean’s pace until one day, Eren stopped looking Jean’s way and started facing out towards the rest of the world? The one who, despite feeling like shit for things out of his control, always went out of his way to make sure that his friends are enjoying themselves, even if it came at the price of ignoring his cries for help?

This guy is always so…

“I’m not mad,” Jean assures her. “Sorry if I gave that impression. It came out more bluntly than I wanted it to. As I’ve said, I don’t really interact with other people often. So I’m just… rusty with social things. It’s not anything you’ve done. So you don’t… Don’t apologize, Eren.”

“O-oh… I-I see…” Eren mumbles, staring at the ground with a light blush on her cheeks.

Jean wonders how normal it is to feel this taken at the sight. Probably pretty normal, right? Eren’s a good looking girl (has always been good looking, no matter which gender), and it’s healthy to like good-looking things. Yeah. Jean’s healthy. Let’s go with that.

“For what it’s worth, I like that you find me easy to talk to,” Jean adds.

Oh, the blush darkened. Just a little, it reminds Jean of a time long ago that he can never get back. That moment when Eren wore his heart on his sleeves and told them all how he felt. And if Jean hadn’t been so embarrassed by something as simple as affection from someone he so deeply admired and loved, would he have realized what Eren had been planning then? If Jean had paid better attention to Eren and what he must have been thinking and feeling instead of being so damned egotistic that he was blind to everything but his own embarrassment?

“F-for someone who doesn't do a lot of social interactions, you're quite the smooth talker," she mumbles.

"What can I say? I take inspiration from a rather… cute idol."

Did Eren always blush as easily as she does? Is that something Jean never realized because he was too busy trying to pick fights? Or is that just how this Eren grew up? Jean hopes just a tad that it's the latter. He would like it very much for her to have had a good enough life that an asshole like Jean didn't try to fight her at every turn.

*

The sound of a stomach growl snaps Jean's head up. He meets eyes with Eren, who looks at him worriedly. He realizes with a start that he hasn't eaten since the banana this morning that his mom shoved at him before he left. And yes, that growl most definitely came from him.

"There are some good restaurants in the area, if you want," Eren offers.

Yeah, like hell Jean is making her walk out wearing that little. And now that he thinks about it, holy shit, how did he forget how little she's wearing in his apartment? There's a gorgeous girl _(Eren)_ alone in this room with him, practically naked. He knows how things would play out if this was porn. But it seems he has a lot more control than the men in porn, because wow, he hasn't done anything but make sure that his idol merchandise is displayed perfectly without a single scratch. 

Oh how low Jean Kirsten has fallen…

Eren looks good though. Not just in the "wow, lots of skin showing" way, but in a healthy way. They were all fit in their previous life since military and all that. But there's no real reason to be that fit anymore. Then again, Eren is a male idol, so maybe that's why she looks so much healthier and better than Jean? He is a shut-in who doesn't do much aside from writing and listening to Eren's CDs. And he often forgets to eat because he gets so absorbed in writing…

He should start working out. 

Not just because it's annoying as hell for Eren to be more fit than him, but also because… I-in case he ever has to pick her up, bridal style. You know? It'll be embarrassing if he can't do that much, not that he just imagined picking her up and taking her to-

"Hey? Mr. Writer?" Eren calls.

Right. His stomach. He's hungry. Not that kind of hungry, fucking hell. Get yourself together, Jean. Not going to be an asshole to Eren, remember that?

"It's fine to call me Jean."

"That's great, but your stomach is still growling."

Right. Right. He's thinking. There are no dishes, so even if he had food at home, they can't really eat. They can't go out, not with Eren dressed like that. So that just leaves…

"What are some good deliveries around here?"

*

"You want any special toppings?" Jean asks. Then after a bit of pause, he adds, "Actually, is it okay for you to be eating pizza? Won't your manager or whatever get mad?"

"I'll run a little extra. It's fine. But if you're that worried, I'll take off the toppings on mine."

Just cheese it is. Should Jean also ask for a salad on the side? Just in case? No, no. That's kind of insulting, isn't it? Shoot. He doesn't know what the correct etiquette for these things are. Damn it. Why didn’t he ever pay more attention to shit like this?

“But if you want my opinion, you should definitely get the sweet potato pizza.”

The…? 

Jean feels like he might have understood if she said potato... No, no. No matter how he thinks about it neither potatoes nor sweet potatoes belong on pizzas! Which genius came up with this disgusting idea? 

… Why did he immediately think of Sasha?

“Judging from your expression, you think this will taste disgusting, don’t you?” Eren asks, clicking her tongue. “But I’ll have you know that you’re wrong! It’s delicious! C’mon, why don’t you take this chance to give it a try? I promise you won’t regret it.”

The words of refusal is at the tip of his tongue when he sees just how excited she looks. When was the last time he ever saw his Eren this excited? When was the last time he saw Eren get this giddy over something so trivial? He can’t do it. 

He can’t refuse her.

“A-alright,” he says. 

The grin on her face freezes. She tilts her head, staring at Jean in a serious manner that reminds him too much of a time when Eren worriedly took care of them after they drank the night away in Marley.

“You know… you don’t have to agree with me if you don’t want to. I get that you’re a fan, but at the end of the day, I’m still a normal human like you. It’s okay to get what you want and ignore me.”

Was Eren always this much of an angel? He was always more of a growling little smartass with his eyes set on too far away a goal that Jean could never see. No, actually he was this sweet, wasn't he? That's right. To people who weren't actively picking fights with him, to Armin, to Mikasa (when she wasn't being too overprotective), to Marco, to Reiner (always to that bastard, despite how much that betrayal must have hurt)… 

Hell, was it just Jean who got the bad treatment? Then again, he hasn't exactly been the most mature person, so he guesses he knows why. It's a bit irksome though. No, no. What he should focus on right now isn't what happened back then and what he couldn't do or get.

It should be what can happen now.

“I… think I’m just going to get cheese pizza,” he decides.

She smiles at him like she’s proud of him, and she probably has no idea just how badly his heart aches at the sight.

*

It occurs to Jean rather belatedly that he’s forcing his favorite (the only idol he follows, actually) idol to unpack his things instead of asking her everything he can possibly think of while they wait for the pizza to arrive.

“Huh? But I’m the one who offered, you know?” she says when he voices this concern. She smiles innocently as she holds up Jean’s boxer from the box labeled “Gardening.” He doesn’t even garden. Not to mention, this is an apartment. Where the hell is he supposed to garden? 

He snatches the boxer out of her hands and throws it back in the box. His face is probably red, judging from the smug giggle she lets out. If she didn’t look so damned cute, he might have actually gotten angry. No. that’s not true. It has nothing to do with how cute she looks (really fucking cute, by the way). It has more to do with how desperately he’s been longing to see Eren again.

“Okay, okay,” she manages out between her giggles. “Then what did you want to ask?”

There are few things that immediately pop to mind such as why she’s crossdressing as a male idol and how she ended up living here with her friends. Who are her friends? Is it anyone from the 104th? Mikasa and Armin, right? Actually, what was she doing before she got locked out of her apartment? And exactly how did she end up living with Reiner?

But he doesn’t want to overwhelm her by throwing so many questions at her all at once. Therefore, he should ask the most important-

“You mentioned your friend read my work. But… did you?”

He didn’t ask that for any egotistical reasons, alright? It’s just… He’s curious. Did the story that Eren read sound familiar? Did Eren realize that it’s their previous life that Jean wrote about? Did it spark any memories? Or is Jean doomed to be the only one trapped with those damned nightmarish titans? 

“Pfft!”

Eren covers her face for a second to school her expression. She has an easy grin on her face when she next speaks. She probably doesn’t realize how much it makes Jean’s heart ache.

“Of course, I read it! And let me tell you, it was such a pain. Reiner bothered me for an entire week to get me to read it, right? But when I was trying to read it, he decided that he didn’t want me to read it after all. He was such a pain to deal with.”

But nothing about how Eren felt about the story. Jean feels bad for feeling so disappointed. But he supposes that if Eren did remember, then she would have mentioned it much earlier. Eren is that kind of honest person, after all.

“I… really dislike the main character.”

Jean pauses. He looks at Eren, who gives him a small pout. It’s clear that this is a complaint that she’s had for a long time. He won’t be shocked if Reiner refused to accept such words from Eren. To be honest, he’s a second away from protesting against Eren himself.

“The ideals that he spoke of always rang so hollow. He sounded like someone who put on a mask of nobility in hopes that no one will realize that he’s just a psychopath who delights in killing.”

That’s you, he can’t bring himself to say. That’s what you did. That’s what you… Oh man, Jean is starting to remember just how frustrating it is to talk to Eren.

“But… when he stopped talking about the ideals of a soldier and their duties or whatever and his focus was on his dream to see the outside world and the ocean… It felt so tragically heartfelt that I ended up tearing up. I still don’t like him too much. But I could understand that line of thinking. Because yeah, it looks hopeless right now, but this isn’t the end. There’s a bigger picture. There’s an entire world out there!”

It’s for just a second.

When Eren turns to him and grins, her eyes shining with the talk of the outside world…

“What kind of new adventures are waiting to be discovered? Jean, aren’t you curious? Don’t you want to grasp that freedom waiting out there?”

The image of the endlessly young and naive 15 year old Eren overlaps her. 

His body moves before he registers what has happened. And by the time he becomes aware of what he has done, he’s clutching tightly to Eren, just barely holding back the tears. Ah, how small. She’s so small in his arms. He doesn’t think his Eren was this small. But he can’t say that with certainty because he never held Eren like this in the past.

“H-hey…?” Eren asks, sounding confused.

“Just… let me hold you. Just for a while. Let me just…”

A sob spills out before he can stop himself. How pathetic. How uncool. He didn’t want to be this kind of a man, especially not in front of Eren. 

But she takes it all in good stride. She wraps her arms around him and gently rubs his back. She doesn’t ask questions nor does she say anything.

Quietly, without any sign of judgement, she simply comforts Jean.

*

The pizza arrives in about thirty minutes after the order goes in. Jean has no idea if that's the normal time or not, but he's going to assume it is. Because Eren doesn’t make a remark about that at all.

By this time, Jean has gotten himself under control enough to return to unpacking. He awkwardly thanked her, but she just laughed it off like this is something she’s used to. Just a little, he kind of wishes that she’d look as awkward as he feels because at least he wouldn’t feel this conflicted. Because if she’s this comfortable with people crying in her arms, doesn’t that mean she’s done it before? For Reiner?

Jean reaches for his wallet that he put to the side for quick access and stands.

And somehow, Eren has already opened the door, that idiot. Does she not realize just how little she’s wearing? Jean makes sure to pick up one of the winter jackets that he unpacked a while back to put around her.

"H-huh?! E-Eren?" comes the reasonably confused and flustered male voice. 

"Bertl! Great timing! Leave your key with me, won't you? I got locked out."

… Bertl? Bertl? Why does that name sound so familiar? Ah, whatever. What Jean needs to focus on right now is to make sure that Eren is covered up in front of their very much male pizza deliverer. With that in mind, he approaches Eren from behind and covers her up properly with the jacket. Then and only then does he realize who “Bertl” is.

"Locked out? Can't Reiner let you in?"

Bertolt Hoover, the pizza deliverer, is doing his absolute best to keep his gaze locked on the ceiling. Because of his tall figure, the ceiling isn’t that much off from his head. Damn it. Why’s this guy so freakishly tall? Jean thought that like Reiner, Bertolt would stop growing. But it seems that if he didn’t die, he would’ve grown even taller. Next to him, Eren looks like a child. Hell, Jean feels like a child looking up at him.

Jean comes up behind Eren and puts the jacket around her. She glances at him with a thankful smile.

“He was up late last night and was asleep the last I checked. It’s not like I have a phone to call him either.”

There’s a look that passes on Bertolt’s face that seems a bit like annoyance. Jean can’t tell, possibly because of the angle. 

Finally, Bertolt looks away from the ceiling with what probably passes for a sullen glare at Eren. Then and only then does he notices Jean.

“O-oh! I-I’m so sorry,” he says, cheeks dusting red. “T-this is your place, isn’t it? Y-your pizza is… My friend is… E-Eren, is that his jacket? I’m so sorry about her. She’s… she’s troubled.”

Jean doesn’t think Eren is the troubled one. It probably has to do with how frazzled Bertolt looks right now.

“It’s not a problem. Here, the money for the-”

Bertolt shakes his head and thrusts the pizza box into Jean’s hand. “No, no. I can’t possibly ask you to pay for this after all the problem Eren caused you. Just give me a few seconds and I’ll return your jacket to you.”

Without giving Eren a chance to defend herself or Jean a way to explain what happened, Bertolt picks her up to leave. There’s something awfully familiar in the way that Bertolt handles Eren. Jean won’t be shocked if this is something they’ve done a thousand times. Not just Reiner but Bertolt as well, huh? Then is Annie also…? Jean really hopes so, because he doesn’t like the thought of Eren rooming with bunch of burly guys that she won’t be able to overpower.

Eren manages to give Jean a sheepish smile before she’s dragged out of view. 

From his apartment, he hears the sound of another door unlock and open. There’s a firm “We’ll talk more about this later!” Then the door slams shut and a sudden silence chills the hallway.

Jean gets the feeling he won’t have company for a while.

*

Few minutes after Jean settles in to eat the pizza alone, there’s a knock on the door. When Jean opens it, it’s Bertolt with the winter jacket back.

“I’m again really sorry. This won’t happen again.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind,” Jean tries to say.

But Bertolt seems too panicked to hear anything. He just apologizes some more before he finally leaves without the money for the pizza. 

*

It’s because it doesn’t sit well with him and has nothing to do with the fact that he wants to see Eren again, alright? Okay. Maybe just a bit. But there’s nothing wrong with that. She’s probably just as hungry as he is. Not to mention she really helped him out unpacking his things. So this is the least he can do.

Yeah. 

He’s going to thank her.

With that thought spurring him on, he knocks on the door. It occurs to him belatedly that there’s a doorbell that he could have rang. Shoot. He should’ve rang the doorbell instead. Why did he knock? But he can’t take back the knocking now. It’s too late for that. Damn it. Damn it. Why is he so damned-

“Hello?” asks a gruff voice that is much too low to be Eren’s.

The door opens, and…

Ah. This is the worst.

This is absolutely, horribly-

“Jean…?”

“Reiner.”

*

In their previous life, the first time they met face to face after Reiner’s (and Bertolt’s and Annie’s) betrayal was when they had to stop Eren. Unite against the common evil, if you will. They… “talked” like the adults they were. But their focus was primarily on the plans to stop Eren. 

Right now, there’s no immediate danger that they need to focus on.

Right now, there’s nothing that exists that can distract them from the years of rage and discontentment Jean has been building up against Reiner.

Right now-

Reiner punches Jean, causing Jean to lose balance and drop the box of pizza.

And what the fuck? Where the hell does this guy get off, throwing the first punch? No, no. He doesn’t get to do that. He doesn’t get to pretend that he was hurt worse than anyone else. Reiner made the plans to break down the wall both times. Reiner brought Marleyan forces in to attack them after their attack on Liberio. Reiner chose, time and time again, to put his own pride and guilt over the lives of everyone else involved.

Then Reiner grabs the front of Jean’s shirt, pulling Jean up from the ground, and snarls. Like he’s in the right. Like Jean is the traitor. Like Jean is the one that set up all of their comrades to die. Like Jean is the one who, in the last second, changed his mind and-

“Stay away from Eren.”

Reiner releases Jean so that he falls back to the ground. Before Jean even hits the ground, though, Reiner has already closed the door.

*

Jean stays on the ground, staring at the closed door, for a second longer than strictly necessary. He lets out a small sigh before he picks himself up and dusts himself. The pizza box landed upside down, so he’s not really looking forward to that.

Looks like he’ll just have to it eat it alone. He leans down to pick it up and holds it right side up. He’ll check back in the safety of his own apartment if the pizza is okay. 

It’s not until he’s in his kitchen, grimacing at the cheese that has separated from the rest of the pizza, that it occurs to him that Reiner recognized him.

Reiner, that bastard, remembers.

*

Marlowe knocks on the door early the next morning as he promised he’ll come to check up on Jean. He has a small gift bag of sorts in one hand and his typical backpack slung over one shoulder. The smiling bright, “Good morning,” freezes on Marlowe’s tongue as he stares at Jean.

“What happened to your eye?” Marlowe asks.

“My neighbor is a delight,” Jean mumbles.

Marlowe stares at him blankly for a second before he covers his mouth in shock. “You _talked_ to your neighbor?!”

How is it that he’s more shocked that Jean talked to someone instead of the fact that his neighbor punched him? Jean would feel insulted if he didn’t know Marlowe that well.

“I’m glad you’re getting along with others,” Marlowe tells him sincerely. He then passes the gift bag over to Jean.

“House warming gift?” Jean guesses.

Marlowe shakes his head. “It was by your front door. I thought maybe it was misplaced. But hearing that you met the neighbor, I bet it’s from them.”

So… it’s the head of a roadkill or something that Reiner found? Jeesh, what a morbid guy. 

Jean peers into the gift bag, mentally preparing himself to gag at any sign of foul play. But that’s not what he finds.

There are two bars of chocolate in there. Along with it are three bottles of energy drinks and… Is that a limited edition acrylic keychain of the letter “E” written in fancy script? There are small sparkles that floats inside of it when Jean turns it around. If memory serves, there were just 20 of these keychains made and given out to the first five people in line for each of Eren’s show during his first tour. It’s a highly sought-after badge of honor that proves one to be Eren’s most loyal and biggest fan. According to Floch, he has been searching high and low for one. But it seems that Eren’s other dedicated fans have already snatched up whatever might have been on sale. 

For this to be in Jean’s hands right now… He can think of just one person who would have a “spare” of this keychain to give away. 

Jean’s lips tug into a smile. Eren sure is a sweetheart, huh?

“Seems like you like it very much,” Marlowe notes with amusement.

Jean very carefully lifts the keychain for Marlowe to see. It’s clear that his editor doesn’t understand the magnificence behind this charm. Jean can’t believe he actually wishes that Floch was here so they can both geek out over this.

“Marlowe, you should get out more,” Jean sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t want to hear that from you.”

*

“So what’s your neighbor like?” Marlowe asks.

Jean shrugs. “I like one of them much better than the other two.”

Marlowe laughs. But Jean sees the side-glance at his black eye. 

“Did you get the chance to review the manuscript I sent?” Jean asks, switching to business. 

“Yes. I’ll give a more thorough read later but…”

*

It’s about noon when the doorbell rings and Hitch joins them with lunch. She seems like she’s about to burst with excitement and glee, which can only mean that Floch’s punishment was something she suggested. Jean isn’t a sadist by any stretch of the imagination, but he is looking forward to hearing what happened at the office.

“Who is the best market person in the world?” Hitch asks as she shakes their lunch high in the air.

Marlowe and Jean quickly exchange a look. Any time Hitch gets like this, it means that something huge has happened. Jean learned that the easiest way to deal with Hitch when she’s like this is to just agree with everything she says and tell her what she wants to hear. That means preventing Marlowe from saying anything.

“You are,” Jean says.

Hitch nods, looking smug. “Damn straight. And who is the most beautiful, most clever, and most charming?”

“Oh, just hand us our-”

Jean elbows Marlowe and glares at him to shut up. When he’s sure that Marlowe won’t get in the way, he turns back to Hitch. 

“You are.”

Luckily, Hitch didn’t seem to have noticed the small hiccup. She throws her head back and cackles like a villain from a 90’s shoujo manga.

“That’s right! I am!” Then she suddenly points at Jean. “And who is the most cringey idol-worshiping idiot?”

This… Is this a trick question? 

“That’s right! You are!” Hitch says even though no one said anything.

Marlowe winces and gives Jean a pitying look.

“Guess who just got off the phone with a certain entertainment agency that uses two interlocked wings as their logo?”

W-wait… She doesn’t mean…?

Hitch nods at the look on Jean’s face. “That’s right. I managed to convince the agency that _the_ Eren Jaeger works at to give you a chance! In two day’s time, you’re going to meet Eren’s manager to convince them why it’ll be profitable for our two companies to team up!”

Eren’s manager? In interviews, Eren often brings up her manager as the reason why she got into the idol industry. The rumor according to Floch is that she was recruited while break-dancing in the park. But when Jean saw the logo of the company, he thought there might be a different reason for it. He looked into it a lot, actually, to see whether or not the 104th were there. 

They weren’t. So Jean quickly lost interest in the company.

“I can see a lot of profit for us. But I can’t imagine a single one for them,” Marlowe points out.

Hitch rolls her eyes and smacks Marlowe’s chest. “And this is why they pay me the big bucks. Just follow the script I’ll write for you and memorize the numbers.”

“W-wait. I’m doing the interview?” Jean asks, taken back.

“Mr. Smith wouldn’t bite unless you did the interview yourself. Don’t worry. We’ll all be there to cover for you.”

Then what was the point of hiring Floch? Jean sighs. 

“Just in case, let’s go over the clothes you have so you are presentable. And we also need to get you used to talking to people. And-”

“I get it!”

*

Hitch drops her head in her hands and sighs deeply. Marlowe looks just about done with this as Jean feels.

“You spent how much money on these?” Hitch asks, motioning at Jean’s merchandise all around the living room. “And you don’t even have a single suit?”

Jean looks back down on his most formal wear that he has, which is really just a black turtleneck and black jeans. 

“This is what I wore when I came to the publishing house the first few times.”

“You… you wore that same outfit how many times?” Hitch’s voice takes on a higher pitch of hysteria. 

Jean groans. “Can we not have this discussion?”

Hitch muffles her scream in answer.

*

“I can’t believe you! You’re the worst!” Hitch seethes as she angrily look through the clothes on the rack of the department store. 

Jean’s attempt to escape this ended up being thrown back in his face when Hitch and Marlowe both reminded him that he needed to get used to talking to people again. And yeah, he gets it. He gets it. But does he have to? It’s not like Erwin will be expecting anything fancy from him.

“I’m going to get a drink,” Jean says.

Hitch seems too caught up in her rage to hear him. But Marlowe nods at him.

Jean leaves the two in search of a vending machine.

*

“Oh, come on…”

There are thousands of places in this neighborhood. Why the hell is Bertolt here by the vending machines? Jean doesn’t recognize the short but stout guy next to Bertolt. But he won’t be shocked if one of the many “Warriors” of Marley. He has half a mind to circle around this place a few times until they go away. But that feels too much like defeat. Why the hell does he have to avoid them? 

He walks forward to one of the machines.

See? They don’t even realize he’s there. He’s being oversensitive for nothing. He’ll just get this drink and-

“H-hello! You’re… I’m sorry, I never got your name. I’m Bertolt Hoover. Er… I was the pizza deliverer yesterday.”

Bertolt’s expression is awkward but friendly. The guy next to him looks curious but doesn’t seem overly concerned. They both stare for a bit at Jean's slowly healing black eye but don't comment on it.

“Porco Galliard,” the other guy says.

Oh, are they all just introducing themselves now? How annoying. Jean really doesn’t care who they are. But if they’re going to be neighbors, he supposes they should at least pretend to be friendly.

“Jean Kirstein.”

Bertolt nods. “I see… That name sounds familiar…”

Yeah, Jean doesn’t want to have that discussion. He turns his attention to the vending machine in what he hopes is a clear dismissal. But it seems that Bertolt sucks just as much at picking up social cues as he was in their previous life.

“Erm… I-I hope this isn’t too rude but… please don’t misunderstand. Eren is dating someone and isn’t interested in you,” Bertolt says.

Jean’s head snaps over the same time Porco’s does.

“Since when?!” Porco exclaims in disbelief. “Did she forget our rule? Anyone who dares to have a lover will be kicked out!”

That sounds like there’s a rather bitter backstory to this. 

From the desperate way Bertolt is looking at Porco to shut up, Jean understands that this is a lie. He finds himself relaxing immediately. If it’s like that, then he doesn’t have to pay attention to this. He puts money into the vending machine and picks a drink.

“You don’t have to lie like that. It’s fine. I’m more used to looking from afar anyways,” Jean tells them flippantly as he turns back to see their expressions. 

Bertolt at least has the decency to look guilty. Porco seems to have finally picked up that it was a lie, because he scowls at Bertolt in a manner that seems to promise pain later. Jean is really glad that he never met this guy before.

“Sorry. I’m just trying to cover my bases. There’s… been some worrying things happening around Eren recently,” Bertolt explains.

“Worrying?”

Now that Jean thinks about it, Eren did mention that she knows how her stalkers behave around her. He didn’t think too much about it at the time. But isn’t it possible that that’s why Bertolt looks so unnerved?

… Then again, that’s how Bertolt always looked in their previous life.

“Eren keeps saying that it’s nothing, but someone keeps gifting her presents. Expensive things, too. So it’s awkward to complain. We’ve asked Eren to take a break from her work, but she just won’t listen.”

Yeah, that sounds like Eren. 

The machine clatters with Jean’s drink. He takes the time to collect his thoughts by drinking it.

For sure, this stalker can’t be Floch. He doesn’t have the time to follow Eren around physically nor does he have the money for expensive gifts. It can’t be someone from the Survey Corps, since majority of them work with Eren. Those gifts would more likely appear at her workplace than at home. So it has to be… 

The Jaegerists, maybe? That’s the name that Eren’s fans have taken for themselves, both in this life and their previous one. So it won’t be shocking if it’s one of her fans. But how did they find her? Especially if the idol “Eren Jaeger” is male?

“I don’t think you’ll be in any danger or anything,” Bertolt adds. “We’re just being cautious.”

That’s fair. You never know with things like these. 

“Oh, if you’re new to the apartments, then this might interest you. We do morning workouts every Saturday in the park. Feel free to drop by, even if you’re not working out. You’ll get to learn your neighbors like that,” Porco says.

Meet bunch of sweaty people that live near him? Look, they’re not in the military anymore. Jean doesn’t have to live like that.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Jean says instead.

He finishes his drink and tosses it in the trash bin. He takes his leave before another awkward conversation can start.

*

Either Eren’s agency is keeping her busy or her roommates are. Whatever the reasons, Jean doesn’t see her in the next two days as he prepares for the interview with Erwin under Hitch’s critical eyes.

*

Erwin Smith is as brightly charming as ever. It seems almost a waste that this man isn’t one of the agency’s talent instead of the CEO. But when Hitch voices that, Erwin laughs.

“I have two left feet, and I’m tone-deaf. Believe me. It’s a good thing that I’m not an idol.”

Was Erwin always this jolly of a man? Jean honestly can’t recall. His memory of the Commander has always been filled with overwhelming respect and admiration with a tinge of fear. But as it is, Erwin’s smiles are calming enough to make Jean almost believe that things will be okay.

Almost.

Because by Erwin’s side is Levi who hasn’t stopped glaring at Jean the minute they gathered together for introductions.

“There isn’t too much that I want to say,” Erwin tells them, still smiling. “But Nile and I go a long way back, so I thought I’d give you a chance to explain yourself. Why should we waste our top talent on an upcoming writer - who doesn’t even have a movie or a drama deal, by the way - all because you like Eren Jaeger very, very much?”

Please spare him.

But Hitch drilled the words and numbers into Jean. He knows what he’s supposed to say. The words are at the tip of his tongue, they really are, Hitch. Don’t glare at Jean like that. It’s just… 

These words aren’t going to be enough to convince Erwin.

Numbers are nice, but at the end of the day, that’s not what got Erwin to move in their previous life. 

“If that’s how you truly felt, you wouldn’t have bothered to make the trek all the way here,” Jean says.

He feels Hitch’s glare at his back, but he knows what he’s doing. His social interaction skills might be rusty, but he never forgot how to talk to his superior. How could he? One wrong word meant potential death for his entire squad. Not just because of the titans or the Marleyan soldiers, but because of human pettiness of his commanders.

“You’ve already looked at the numbers and weighted the pros and cons of this. What you are here for isn’t for me to recite those back at you. You’re here to judge me as a character. To see whether or not I’m worth the gamble, isn’t that right?”

Erwin’s lips twitch in amusement. Good. Jean’s in his good graces. He got this covered.

“I am so sorry about him!” Hitch exclaims as she rushes over, Marlowe on her heels. The two of them flank Jean and elbow him on either side. “We typically don’t let him talk for this very reason.”

“Is that so?” is all Erwin will say.

“W-why don’t we have the talk about numbers instead?” Hitch suggests with a smile that seems to scream to Jean that she’s trying much too hard. He doesn’t get why. She can relax now. They have the deal in the bag.

“Alright. Levi, can I trust you to talk to Jean by yourself?” Erwin asks.

That’s not a question. It’s posed as a question, but it’s clear that that was their goal all along. Did they know that this is how Jean was going to respond…? Doesn’t that imply that they remember? Do they actually remember or is Jean just jumping at shadows? 

Well, he’s not going to be able to figure anything out by hesitating.

*

“You can leave now,” Levi tells Marlowe.

Marlowe looks like he might have a minor heart attack at those words. His smile is frozen on his face as he looks almost desperately to Jean. 

“We’re not here to discuss anything related to business. That’s on Erwin and Dreyse,” Levi continues. “The two of us are going to talk about… private matters. Between ‘old friends.’”

So it is as Jean suspected. 

The look on Marlowe’s face screams that he doesn’t want to leave Jean here alone with Levi. Jean understands the sentiment, but this is going to be something beyond Marlowe.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

Marlowe looks like he wants to disagree, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leads the two of them to the small conference room and lets them be.

*

“You have a lot of nerve,” Levi growls the minute the door closes.

Here they go again. 

“It wasn’t enough that you had to make a mockery of what happened back then with your ‘stories.’ Now you have to come after Eren as well? We are living in a world free from those nightmares. Let go and move on.”

Hypocrite.

“Have you moved on?” Jean asks Levi.

“Of course, I have.”

It must be nice to have confidence to be able to say such a bold-faced lie with that much conviction. Or is that too rude a thought? Because from the way Levi speaks, it seems that Levi himself doesn’t realize the truth.

“If you really did, then why are you sticking so close to Erwin? Why did you drag Eren into your life? How can you say that you’ve moved on when you’re clinging so tightly to our previous life as much as I am?”

Oh.

In their previous life, Jean would have said with certainty that it was impossible to catch Levi off-guard. But this life must have treated Levi kindly. Jean never thought he would ever see an expression like that on Levi’s face.

“I’m… not saying that I’m in the right either. I don’t know if what I’m doing is moving on. But it’s better than just sitting at home, wondering if anything is going to change. I thought… I hope that if I write everything down, I’ll finally be empty of that life enough to live this one.”

Levi stays silent for a beat longer, seemingly lost in thought.

“I don’t need you to understand me. I don’t need you to forgive me either. I’m just… doing what I think will help me move on. I know it’s selfish. But after everything that happened, I think we’re allowed to try to be happy.”

“How the hell did you kids end up so damned mature?” Levi mumbles. Then louder, he says, “Yeah. You’re right. I haven’t done anything to move on at all. After my big talk, if I block you now, I’ll just look childish, won’t I? Alright. I’ll help you.”

Somehow, Jean didn’t think it would be this simple. 

“On the condition that you don’t get any closer to Eren than as friends, if that.”

Ah, that makes more sense.

“I have no intentions of doing anything more than watch from afar,” Jean says.

Levi actually seems to relax at that. Jeesh, talk about overprotective. Does he think that he can make up for his neglect in their past life through this?

“Before I forget.” Levi pulls out a business card and hands it over to Jean. 

The card is for a cafe-bar combo. Jean can’t make heads or tails of it. Why would Levi give something like this to Jean? Almost as if he can hear Jean’s question, Levi explains himself.

“The cafe opens at 6 am and closes around 3 pm. Sasha and Connie run it together. At 7 pm, the bar opens. That part is ran by some guy named Marco Bodt. It’ll be too late to go today to see Sasha and Connie. But at least now you know that it exists.”

So the three of them ended up opening shop together? Poor Marco. He’s probably pulling all the weight while wishing he had someone more sensible by his side.

“So much for moving on,” Jean mumbles.

Levi snorts. “You can’t move on until you finish your story. You haven’t even introduced the Beast Titan yet. Since it’s going to take you some time anyways, might as well as see some old friendly faces.”

Who’s the mature one now? 

Jean holds the business card close to himself.

“Thank you.”

*

“Oh, I overheard from someone mention that Eren has a stalker,” Jean says. 

Levi’s eyes narrow as he glares at Jean. “That idiot… I didn’t hear anything about that. Tell me more.”

Jean recounts what Bertolt has told him. Once the information is shared (which admittedly isn’t all that much), he offers his own guesses.

“Yeah. It’s not one of our agency’s workers,” Levi agrees. “But it can’t be a fan since that would mean they know where Eren lives.”

“So it has to be someone who knows where Eren lives. And is rich enough to afford those expensive gifts.”

From the darkened expression on Levi’s face, Jean assumes Levi knows exactly who is the cause of this.

“I’ll tell her to stop,” Levi says. “She’s such a pain.”

“She?” Jean echoes.

“Mikasa.”

Ah. So that’s where she is in this life.

“She followed her dad’s footsteps and went into trading. Even though she’s always watching Eren’s concerts and embarrassingly buying those dumb mercs, she hasn’t mustered up the courage to meet up. She’s the only one I know who has money to burn but obsessive enough to do something like that.”

Jean feels bitter for some odd reasons about all of this. He’s not even sure what he’s bitter about. 

“You kept tabs on where all of us ended up, huh?” Jean finds himself saying instead.

“I still haven’t found Armin. So not quite.”

That “still” part of the sentence scares Jean more than he’d like to admit. Wherever Armin may be, Jean wishes him a lot of luck in not being killed immediately when Levi sees him.

*

A loud scream disturbs Jean and Levi’s surprising pleasant talk. It sounded like Floch, so Jean has no real urge to hurry. But Levi makes a beeline for the door. Since his conversation partner has left, Jean has no choice but to follow.

His gut reaction that it was Floch screaming is proven true. What he didn’t have enough of foresight to predict, however, is why Floch is screaming.

“Yo Mr. Levi! Oh, Jean! You’re here, too,” Eren says in greeting.

She’s in a baggy sweater and cargo pants. Dressed like that, Jean would believe that Eren is a boy without any questions. But it seems rather sad that not even Levi realizes the truth. Then again, Jean also feels pretty happy about being the only one that figured out the truth. It’s a complicated feeling.

“I thought I told you to take today off.” Levi’s voice is sharp with disapproval. 

“But you looked like you were in an awful mood when you left. I came over to help tide things over,” Eren explains. She holds up two plastic bags filled with snacks and drinks. “But it looks like you’re feeling much better now, though. Jean’s pretty good at that, isn’t he?”

If Eren keeps piling up the compliments like that, Jean’s going to end up as a pile of goo on the ground.

“Since when do you two know each other?” Floch asks, staring between Jean and Eren in disbelief.

After his scream, it seems that he has taken refuge behind a table. Is he not going to fanboy over the fact that Eren is in front of him? Or is he trying to bide his time in hopes that they forget his scream? If the latter, Jean thinks Floch is going to have to wait a long time.

Eren surprises Jean by grinning mischievously. “How can I not know my number one fan?”

Jean feels his cheeks redden. He most definitely prefers that over “creepy stalker fan” that he called himself. But it feels embarrassing anyways.

“N-no! I’m your number one fan!” Floch protests. He jumps out from behind the table in an effort to make his plea. “Jean didn’t even know about you until a few months ago! I like you much longer and more!”

Levi moves immediately to stand between Floch and Eren. It reminds Jean of a long time ago when Levi stood similarly to protect Eren from Yelena. Levi really should have become a bodyguard and not a manager (Or maybe his height prevented him from doing that? Does the Ackerman blood still lets him be super fit as before? Jean doesn't really want to test that).

“Thanks!” Eren tells Floch with a light laugh. Then with a sincere smile that makes even Jean’s heart race, she adds, “Your dedication is my motivation to be the best idol I can be. Please continue to cheer for me!”

Does… she really mean that? Jean can’t tell from just watching. Is this an act? Is this how Eren really feels? If the latter, Jean is tempted to let her know that it’s fine to not be thankful for pieces of crap like Floch. The words are generic enough that Jean can believe that this isn’t special or anything. But-

“And please stop picking fights with middle schoolers!”

Floch stare blankly at Eren for a second before his face turns as beet red as his hair. So much for first impressions, huh, Floch? Jean doesn’t bother hiding his sniggers. This is probably the best revenge Jean will ever get to witness. 

“T-thank you very much for your consideration!” comes Hitch’s voice as a door opens. 

Looks like she’s done talking with Erwin. She’s beaming brightly, and Erwin has his usual smiles on his face. See? What did Jean tell her. This is just formalities. Erwin came here with his mind already made.

“Oh, Eren! Did we worry you? Sorry about that. But everything came out okay,” Erwin says. 

The casual smile before must have been fake, Jean can’t help but to think. The smile as Erwin rushes over is much more vibrant. But if Jean hadn’t seen the two smiles, he would never have realized the typical charming smile on Erwin’s face has always been fake. But it's not like Jean can blame Erwin for smiling so sincerely. Eren is really cute. Not to mention Eren is the biggest cash cow at Erwin's company.

“So the partnership is a go?” Eren asks.

Partnership?

Jean glances at Hitch, who smugly smirks at him. Marlowe rolls his eyes at her childishness and turns to Eren with more professionalism. 

“Mr. Jaeger, nice to meet you. I am Jean’s editor, Marlowe Freudenberg. This is our market department’s Hitch Dreyse. We look forward to working with you.”

“Please, call me Eren. I also look forward to working with you!”

*

After few more exchanges of pleasantries (and eating the snacks Eren brought), Eren and his agency’s members take their leave.

“You never said you knew Eren!” Floch yells at Jean the minute they’re left in relative silence. “You’re a shut in! You said you never went to any of the concerts! How the hell do you know him?”

Like hell Jean will tell Floch about his new living arrangement. Floch is the reason why Jean ended up having to move (even if that move ended up in Jean’s favor), and Jean will pettily hold it against Floch for as long as he can.

“What can I say? I’m Eren’s number one fan,” Jean retorts with a smirk.

Heh. Victory sure feels great.

*

“So what’s up with this partnership? What exactly are we providing them? Scripts?” Jean asks Hitch.

She nods. “More or less. Their agency is mainly focused on recording and live venues, so it won’t be something fancy like movie scripts. But for the first one, we’ve decided on a drama script that you’ll write about _Attack on Titan_ and a song that Eren will compose. Think you can whip something up for that?”

“Is Eren voicing it?”

Jean pretends that he doesn’t see her roll her eyes. 

“Yes, you dumb fanboy. So create a special character-”

“The main character.”

Hitch makes a face. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He still has idol duties, so I doubt they’ll be willing to listen to that. It’ll make people think Eren will be the main character for…”

Jean pretends that he can’t hear the rest of her logical rant. But it seems she’s much too used to his antics.

“Don’t ignore me! That’s not going to make reality disappear!”

Tch.

*

“Are you heading back now?”

Jean pauses when he sees Eren waiting for him by the entrance of the publishing house. Eren has on giant designer sunglasses to hide a good chunk of her face. She also has on a cap that’s been pushed down. It’s enough to hide who she is at a quick glance. But Jean won’t be shocked if a more dedicated fan will be able to see through such flimsy disguise.

“Your manager was okay with leaving you here?” Jean asks in surprise.

Eren chuckles, looking much too proud of herself. “He gave me the day off. He doesn’t get to dictate what I do with my free time.”

She must have gone home and then doubled back. 

“W-what’s with that doubtful look? I can think for myself, thank you very much!”

“But what are you doing here? What if someone recognizes you?”

Eren crosses her arms in front of herself and looks away with a soft, “Hmph!”

Someone who has a stalker, even if said stalker was her “sister” in her previous life, shouldn’t be this flippant about being recognized in public. But that kind of free-spiritedness is exactly what Jean has always envied.

“For what it’s worth, I am happy to see you,” Jean says as honestly as he can. “If… you have some time, would you like to grab dinner with me?”

“What if someone recognizes me?” Eren points out, glaring at Jean with a pout.

Eren’s cuteness is going to be the death of him.

“Then I guess we better go somewhere private,” Jean decides.

Hm? Why is Eren looking at him with a blush…? 

Oh. 

Oh! That was phrased badly!

“I-I meant like getting a getting a private room or… Y-you know what? Just forget I said anything. Let’s just head back-”

“Then what about a light snack? Something we can eat while moving?”

Eren isn’t meeting eyes with him. But the blush on her face hasn’t gone away. And would it be selfish of Jean to think of this as a date?

“Y-yeah. I lov… I’d love that.”

*

Eren is going to think that Jean is cheap.

The two of them end up at a park near their apartment, eating convenience store bought popsicles while sitting on a bench together. 

Is this okay? Is this really okay? Is Eren disappointed? Yeah, they didn’t officially say that this is a date. But this has got to be the worst first date Jean could have ever come up with. He’s… not counting Eren helping him unpack as their first date. That’s their first meeting. 

Oh god, why the hell is he so lame?

“So uh… I heard that you’ll be voice acting. A-and composing a new song for my series. I’m… looking forward to that,” Jean manages out.

Lame. Lame. Lame. Is seriously work the only thing he can talk to her about? He has got to be the lamest guy in the world.

“And I’m looking forward to the script you’ll write for me,” Eren says flippantly.

Is she not excited about the project?

“Eh? S-sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you feel that way. I just… I just know Reiner’s going to kick up a fuss. He’s already really picky about your series as a fan. I don’t want to do a job that makes him upset, you know?”

Reiner again? What about how she feels? Is she going to base the rest of her life on whatever Reiner wants? Does she plan on living her life like that again?

“But do you want to do it?” Jean asks.

She doesn’t answer right away. Instead, her focus shifts to her popsicle. Jean makes a point of looking away so he doesn’t end up embarrassing himself anymore than he has. There is absolutely no need to make himself any lamer in her eyes.

And thank god he did, because he hears the sound of a crunch of a certain someone biting her popsicle. Who does that? Isn’t that cold? Jean’s shudder is at the atrocity that Eren committed by biting something cold and not because he thought of something dirty and is being punished for it.

“I’m the one who suggested it,” she says softly.

“H-huh?” 

Jean turns to look at her. She gives him a sheepish smile.

“I couldn’t think of anything else that Mr. Smith would consider teaming up with you for. Especially when Mr. Levi was dead set against it. Made worse by your PR manager’s announcement… What? Two weeks ago now?”

W-wait. D-doesn’t that mean…? 

“You were keeping tabs on me?” Jean asks in disbelief.

“B-b-because Reiner likes you! B-b-because I wanted an autograph for R-Reiner! Y-yeah! I-it’s for R-Reiner!”

Jean can be a decent human being and go with Eren’s words at face value. Or he can be the asshole that he always is and rub it in Eren’s face. He wants so badly to mock Eren. He wants to lord it over her that she’s been watching him as much as he has been. If he teases just a little bit, it’s okay, right? It won’t be too mean?

He can’t.

He can’t.

He promised that he wouldn’t.

Taking a deep breath, Jean nods seriously. “I see. So it was for Reiner.”

Eren shoots him a look that he’s not too sure how to read. The blush seems to have darkened, he notes. 

“O-okay… M-maybe it wasn’t _just_ for Reiner…”

If it looks like Jean is blushing, it’s because he doesn’t want her to feel alone. Y-yeah. That’s what this is. He’s not blushing at the implication. T-there’s no way that she’s implying anything anyways. She clearly didn’t know who he was and-

“D-did you pretend to not know me when we first met?”

Eren shakes her head. “N-no! Meeting you was an accident. I really did lock myself out. If I knew we were going to meet, I would’ve dolled myself up and… W-what I mean is you never showed your face to the public! How was I supposed to know you were good looking?”

Jean? Good looking? In Eren’s eyes? No, no. She means that he looks like a horse, right? Horse-faced villain?

“Ahhh! Shut up! Shut up! You are the worst! Stop teasing me!”

Why is it that even when Jean isn’t actively trying to tease Eren, he ends up being treated like he is?

“How am I the worst? I’m just… saying what I heard people say before.”

“Yeah, your face is on the long side. But who’s to say that I don’t like it?” Eren snaps.

She pauses, clearly shocked at the words out of her own mouth. She looks away for a second. Then another. Then she turns back to Jean almost desperately.

“T-there’s nothing wrong with finding horses handsome!”

Wait, that’s what she’s stuck on? Jean would prefer it if they could please go back to the part where she mentioned she liked his face.

“So… you like horses?” Jean finds himself fishing.

Eren gives him a dirty look. “No, stupid. I like you.”

She childishly throws her finished popsicle stick at him, signaling this discussion close. But Jean isn’t ready for it to end yet. He hasn’t quite registered those words. And he’s damned sure that it probably doesn’t mean what he hopes it does. But damn it, he’s hopeful, and wow, has he always been this desperate? 

The answer, by the way, is yes. Yes, he always has been.

Jean grabs her wrist to stop her from running away. He’s certain that he has that popsicle stick stuck to his fancy clothes that Hitch spent so long picking out for him. But he can’t focus on that right now. Right now, Eren’s words finally sunk in.

“L-like like… ‘like-like?’ Like you’ll be interested in dating me like? Like it’s okay if I like you back like?” he asks. “I-if… I were to kiss you right now, you won’t be disgusted like? Like it's okay to believe you like me back as much as I like you like?”

Just now, Eren’s eyes flickered from Jean’s mouth before returning to his eyes. C-could it be? I-is her answer going to be-

“T-the hard rule at my place is no lovers. If… if you’re really i-interested in me like that, t-t-then I need to find a new place of residence.”

She gives him a look that Jean honestly can’t tell if it’s an invitation or a challenge. The flow of the conversation says that it should be the first one, but common sense dictates that it can only be the latter. This is Eren, after all.

“I’m sure the Cap… Mr. Levi will-”

Eren yanks her wrist free from Jean’s grasp and grabs Jean by the cheeks. Jean is too frozen at the sudden close proximity of Eren’s face to be able to register exactly what’s going on. By the time it sinks in, he’s too late.

In their previous life, it was typically Jean that threw the first punch. So it’s justified that he would be completely caught off-guard by this. 

What kind of a girl headbutts someone after saying she likes him?

Jean’s ears are ringing from the force of the impact. He’s sure he dropped his half-finished popsicle to the ground. But more so than his stinging forehead or the loss of his popsicle, it’s his pride that’s the most wounded. Yeah, he’s not the most fit, what with being a shut-in and all, but damn it, he really thought Eren was being cute for once and wanted to kiss him or something (which he realizes makes no sense given the context, but how the hell is a headbutt better?!).

“Take responsibility, you idiot!” Eren yells. “I’m homeless because of you!”

They’re in a public park. There’s a fair number of people walking by, whispering and pointing. Most of them probably think that Eren is a guy and that they’re about to witness two guys decking it out. And Jean would be more concerned, especially since there’s a chance that people might recognize Eren. But right now…

“Are you sure you want me? You won’t regret it?” Jean asks.

Eren scowls. “I’m regretting it right now.”

Yeah, that makes more sense. It was really impulsive to begin with. Jean should just be happy that he heard a confession from Eren at all. Yes, that’s more than he’s ever gotten in his previous life. He should be satisfied with-

“So if you don’t man up, I’m going to… to kidnap you until you change your mind.”

Jean must be pretty insane for finding that kind of a threat so charming. It’s probably because it’s Eren, though. It's probably because Jean has loved Eren for so long.

“Pfft… haha! I don’t think I’ll mind being kidnapped if it’s by you.”

“Don’t laugh!” Eren snaps, giving Jean a little shake. “Take me seriously!”

Jean pulls her down so their noses brush. “Oh, but I am.”

He’s hard-pressed to say who moved first. Is it his years of yearning finally catching up to this situation? Is it Eren’s impatience, exasperated by their conversation? Or maybe it’s something else altogether that he can’t quite think of properly right now because Eren’s lips are so very soft when you kiss them.

*

“This is Jean. We’re dating,” Eren announces without any prep or warning.

Jean always knew that Eren was a bit off when it came to social things, especially about the matters of the heart. But somehow, he had hoped that being an idol would have given her… at least a tiny bit more tact.

“I’ll be moving out right now. Reiner, pack your things.”

And huh?

HUH?!

“W-wait-” 

Jean’s words are steamrolled by everyone’s vocal protests. He has no idea how Eren is keeping up with everyone speaking all at once, but she seems to not mind the noise. Is she used to this? Or is it more that she’s not paying attention to what anyone is saying?

“We don’t even know this guy! How can we be sure that he won’t take advantage of you?” Porco growls.

“Eren, this is really sudden,” a guy who kind of looks like Porco says.

Bertolt is giving Jean the dirtiest look. Jean is a little shocked to see so much malice packed onto Bertolt’s typically timid face. If Bertolt could have managed that kind of anger in their previous life, Jean wonders if maybe they would've lost a lot more lives in the battle against the Colossal Titan.

“If Reiner is going to live with you, then I’ll move in with you, too,” says a beefy blonde guy who looks about as big as Reiner in their previous life.

“Don’t be like that, Ann,” Eren groans.

… Ann? L-like… “Annie” but shorter? T-this… beefcake is…????? W-well, Jean supposes that makes sense. If Eren ended up being female in this life, why can’t others have changed? Yeah, sure. Whyever not? Maybe Annie was resentful for being stuck in that crystal for so long and not being able to grow like the rest of them. So she became… as muscular as Reiner…??

Jean’s head hurts.

“No, Ann’s right. I don’t trust Reiner alone with you more,” Porco declares.

Should Jean be celebrating that he is trusted above Reiner by strangers?

“Guess we’re all moving in,” the guy who looks like Porco says with a shrug. He turns to Jean with a smile that feels too sharp to be anything friendly. “We’ll be relying on you to pay for everything from now on, Mr. Kirstein.”

“I don’t like your roommates,” Jean whispers to Eren.

“Hah! You think we’re bad? Wait till you meet Eren's brother!”

… Perhaps Jean didn’t think this through enough before he jumped into this. 

But as soon as that thought occurs in his mind, Eren takes his hand without stopping to glare at her roommates. 

“Zeke only threw rocks at Mr. Levi! You guys don’t get to talk like you suffered! A-and besides, he only did that because he thought Mr. Levi was fishy, which he totally was when we first met. S-so that and this are very different!” Eren says, cheeks red with embarrassment.

They’re going to have to repeat this in front of Eren’s family and co-workers, aren’t they?

Jean wonders which death will be faster. Being pelted by rocks by Zeke or being murdered by Levi… Or perhaps the actual answer is in front of him in the form of Eren’s roommates?

But to say something as bold as “he is regretting this” would be a lie.

He takes a deep breath and squeezes Eren’s hand.

“I will do my best to treat Eren with as much love as I hold in my heart. But I have no intention of taking care of everyone here. Especially not Reiner. Eren, if you’re moving in with me, please don’t bring extras.”

Jean steels himself for a fight. There’s no way that Eren will let Reiner go that easily. Especially not when she finds ways to bring Reiner into any kind of conversation. On top of that, there’s the smug looks that Eren’s roommates are giving Jean as if to call him naive. 

“Oh, you’re right. That is pretty unfair of me, isn’t it? Okay.”

… Huh?

“W-w-wait, E-Eren?” Reiner whispers, his voice just barely above a whisper.

“I mean, Reiner, as long as I stay near you, you’ll keep thinking everything is fine and stay locked up, right? Zeke said this will be good for you anyways. Stand on your own two feet, okay? Then I’ll just grab my things-”

Everyone explodes into different kinds of protests all at once. But all Jean sees is Eren.

So this is what it feels like to be chosen over everyone else. Finally. Finally. It took him two lifetimes, but he finally got it. 

Jean doesn’t have enough vocabulary to comfortably be able to profess his gratitude.

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Hitch’s giddy laugh is contagious, to say the least. 
> 
> “What’s got you into such a good mood?” Jean asks.
> 
> “Hey, who is the smartest, most beautiful, most capable, most clever market person in the world?” she asks.
> 
> Ah. She’s in one of those moods, huh?
> 
> “You are,” Jean answers without missing a beat.
> 
> “And who is the cringiest, overly obsessed fanboy in the world?”
> 
> Is she seriously going to bring this up ag-
> 
> “That’s right! The CEO of the movie agency that we’ve been trying to strike a deal with for your series!”
> 
> … Huh?
> 
> Hitch points at the letter “E” charm that Eren got for Jean. She cackles in delight.
> 
> “Who would’ve thought your creepy fanboy tendencies will save your series from Floch’s fuck ups? The CEO has that exact charm! So I just casually mentioned that Eren will be voice acting in for you and composing a song and Boom! You’re scheduled to meet Mr. Zeke in a week’s time to discuss movie rights!”
> 
> To think he’ll be meeting the in-laws this early… 
> 
> Jean takes a deep breath. “I can’t say no to this, right?”
> 
> “You did well with Mr. Smith. Just do the same thing here.”
> 
> This writer business is such a pain… 
> 
> *
> 
> “So what part are you going to write for me to voice act?” Eren asks as she leans unnecessarily close on Jean’s couch.
> 
> “I was thinking the main character,” Jean says lightly, leaning towards Eren's warmth.
> 
> Eren makes a face. “You’re just saying that because I said I don’t like him, aren’t you?”
> 
> “No. You just… remind me of him.”
> 
> “I remind you of a homicidal psycho?”
> 
> For the love of all that is holy, Eren, that’s you.
> 
> “I can’t imagine the wings of freedom on anyone’s back but yours,” Jean tries.
> 
> “Pfft! What does that even mean, you weirdo?” Eren asks, laughing.
> 
> It’s better this way. 
> 
> And if Eren can brightly laugh like this by his side, then he feels like the nightmares from his previous life will begin to ebb. 
> 
> “Hey, want to go to the ocean together?”
> 
> Jean feels like he’s healing a little bit more every time he sees that grin on Eren’s face.
> 
> “Sure!”


End file.
